Black-Eyed Peas

I have been contemplating what my new years resolution for 2010 will be. I have so many things to fix in my life that I could almost just close my eyes, stick my hand in the basket of issues, pull one out and decide to work on it. But I would like to cover all of them with one resolution if thats possible. I thrive off of lists, so I will make a list of things that I need to accomplish:

1. Get a “real” job with benefits and security.

2. Start a debt management plan to pay off my credit card debt.

3. Work on facing all of my inner demons….ill leave it at that.

4. Enhance my photography knowledge, so I can grow my business.

5. Find my passion.

6. Get AHEAD financially.

7. Maintain the weight that I lost this year.

8. Be a better person.

This is a pretty extensive list, it’s very vague and im sure if I sat here too much longer I could double this list, but it’s a good start. I think if I wanted to sum all of this up with one blanket resolution I would say I need to just make good choices…It sounds too vague, but to me it’s so important. My poor choices up until this moment are what has led me to this terrible position that I am in now. If I have made different choices throughout the last few years I could be in a very different place. I have accepted that I cannot change what has happened but I can change where I go from here.  I refuse to fall further down into this ditch I have dug for myself. I’m weak, and broken right now, so I have very little strength to make some drastic move to change my life, but what I can do is make a conscious choice to make GOOD choices…And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my new years resolution.

For something more specific…i will be doing something really cool next year! My cousin Anna Gay is my inspiration for this. She is doing something called Project 365, she takes a different picture of herself every day and posts it like a blog on Flickr. I will be doing my own little Project 365, along with my mother, but we will just be taking miscellaneous pictures every day. These pictures can be whatever comes to our attention, any random thing that we see that day that we want to capture. At the end of next year I will put them all into a collage and have a little glimpse of my year. I really want to take pictures that mean something to me. I want to look back on 2010 and see a positive trend of change throughout the progression of the year. I want to see happiness, enlightenment, peace and joy shining through these pictures. That is my goal for next year. And my prediction is, if I make good choices and do this project 365, that will happen. I will see positive things happening for myself in no time. I must. I can’t get much further down this grave that im digging for myself. I simply have to get out now, or die. And I am not ready to die. Lets go 2010!!!  I’m ready. BRING IT ON!

Oh and as for the title of this blog…As most of you probably know, there is a tradition to eat black-eyed peas on New Years Day. The idea is that each black-eyed pea that you eat represents a good thing that will happen to you in the next year. I didn’t eat ANY black-eyed peas on January 1, 2009 and I’ll be damned if I don’t eat a whole can tomorrow!

Also look back on www.emmagphotography.com for my Project 365 photos…